Saturday, August 22, 2015

Dating your spouse

      Ask any professional athlete and they will tell you that in order to become the best in their field you have to put in years of hard work. That old saying of Practice makes perfect is true. Why is it then that when it comes to our marriages we have the tendency to do a mediocre job of it? Sure it usually starts out nicely while we are dating. We dress up, we put our best foot forward and we are always on our best behavior. The words we say to each other are thought out before we say them and we easily forgive. Some where along the way we let all that go. Between the kids, bills, and general responsibilities of life we forget that practice makes perfect. The word perfect is such a broad term in my opinion because it can mean something different to each of us. Marriage done right means compromise, communication, investing, and practice. To be an Olympic athlete we must invest years of hard work. To have a great marriage we must also invest years of hard work. Nothing worth earning comes easy so why do we just seem to quit when it comes to our marriages?
    One thing we forget to do is date each other. That's right the good ole fashion dating. We get some caught up in life that we forget who we were before we became mothers and fathers. We forget that we were once newlyweds and in love. We forget why we feel in love and we lose our sense of identity. I challenge you to start dating your spouse. At first you may find it awkward and will only talk about the weather and your job. Eventually you will find that you start talking about other stuff and you may start to get to know each other again. For my husband and I it was a struggle to hire a babysitter and be able to afford to go out and I am sure some of you are in the same boat. An idea that could be helpful is to find other  mothers out there that would like to start dating their spouses again and you two swap out child care. For example they watch your kids the first Friday of  the month and you watch theirs the second Saturday. Dating/investing in your marriage makes it easier when you come to the rough patches. If you have been staying connected then the rough patch will be just that patch and not a road block or dead end.
     I heard on the radio the other day that the Devil wants to divide marriages. He wants us to fight each other instead of the issues. Dating brings you back to the excitement of waiting for a kiss goodnight and the feel of holding  their hand. Dating requires us to connect as husband and wives and not as parents. Dating helps us to see each other in a new light and remind us of all the reasons  you fell in love with each other. Dating gives us something to look forward to amongst the hustle and bustle of life. Dating can help remind you that your spouse is hot and looks mighty fine dressed up! Dating gives you adult conversation and that for stay at home moms is crucial to keeping them sane!
    My husband and I have been married for 17 years and just started dating each other again a year ago. We had gotten complacent with life and each other and even though we were fine and we were still married we were not taking full advantage of all the great things a connected marriage has to offer. Dating my husband has brought back the excitement of seeing him come through the door after work. Dating my spouse has allowed me to see him as a much older, mature, caring, funny, husband and father. Not just the man who leaves his shoes, socks, etc. on the ground and quite surely has a book of 101 ways to aggravate the wife. Dating has brought back the joy that had been missing. I didn't want to be complacent in my marriage anymore I wanted to be passionate about my husband. I wanted to enjoy talking to him, miss him when he is gone, anxious to talk to him about our days, and anticipate his hugs when he walks in the door. Dating is the practice that my marriage needs to be my level of perfect. I encourage you to date your spouse and find your level. 

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